I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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