There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
