does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
