In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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