just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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