About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
