she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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