I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
