why didn't you poke me back
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
