i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
