Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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