She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
