I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
