He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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