Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
