I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
how drunk are you?
Several
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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