There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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