she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
