How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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