and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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