I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
