I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
