Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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