do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
