we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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