My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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