Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
