Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
