More tranny stories later!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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