Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
