Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
