is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
