fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
