She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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