After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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