I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
