my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
