of course. lets lasso hookers.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
