Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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