the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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