i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize