I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
