Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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