Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
