WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
