i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
