I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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