I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
