The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
