bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
