saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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