some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
