I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
