Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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