The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How does it feel to date your dad?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
