Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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