i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
