my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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