Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
