Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
