i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
