Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
