I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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